1. The life of people who too afraid of rejection and condemnation, subordinate to external requirements: they go to a "prestigious university" to get a "popular specialty", try to live according to the standard scenario "born - studied - married - gave birth to children - died surrounded by a large and friendly family", try to avoid conflicts, do not stand from itself "upstarts".
They have "everything": a career, a salary, a car, a summer house and barbecue on weekends. But, having reached the next life crisis, usually such people experience emptiness, they are not happy with anything in their life, they cannot really understand what they really want.
2. The life of the rebels and the "white crows" who value their self too much and are not ready to give them up in order to find a common language with other people - an eternal struggle, permanent conflict. They tear patterns, interrupt from cover to cover, live at the bottom or even beggar, but at the same time continue to do their own thing, live as they themselves think are true. They violate all standard rules and principles.
The outcome of the lives of such people is unpredictable. Sooner or later, society can discern talent in them and rehabilitate posthumously. But this may not happen. Defending his own, a person is deprived of the opportunity to truly realize the value of what he defends, remains rejected and misunderstood. The realism and adaptability of such people is usually at an extremely low level.
So who is most satisfied with life?
Not the one in the middle between the two extremes described. The middle is simply the “zero” between the two “minuses”. In the middle is a man who failed to express himself, but also could not please society. The life of such a person is meaningless and difficult.
In fact, it becomes happy who knows how to combine extremes in their maximum expression:
- He realizes himself to the maximum and pursues his personal goals, and to the same extent brings benefit to society.
- Collaborates with other people, but does not bend under them.
- He goes his own way, but shares the results of his labor with others.
- It proves its benefit to people and proves its right to go the way it goes.
So does a true leader. And it becomes truly accepted and realized, and also content with its life.
What we do not understand
Here's what you need to know: love is an action.
Self-love is not what you feel about yourself. This is what you do for yourself. You can only love yourself with action, not with thoughts. Actions must show both love and respect, otherwise there is no need for them.
First, work on your body. Without interacting with him, you are not able to do anything at all, so it makes sense to treat him well. Do not poison yourself, hurt yourself, neglect your body. Reluctance to work on it negates any attempts to love yourself. Be good with your actions, otherwise one day your body will plant a pig for you. If you abuse your body, it will certainly take revenge on you - perhaps even kill you.
Learn. Fill yourself with skills, languages, abilities and art. Developing skills is the easiest way that will give you a sense of freedom and increase your self-esteem. For what qualities do you value other people well? Kindness, sense of humor, thoughtfulness, hard work? Cultivate these qualities in yourself and develop them.
Many people believe that pampering and rewarding themselves is a manifestation of a good attitude towards themselves. Advertising and magazines vying call you to love yourself, say that you deserve it, and then recommend that you buy something or eat a chocolate cake. Finding reward or comfort in this is not love. Often this is even harmful. Calming yourself does not mean treating yourself well. Realize your craving for comfort and beware of it. Often we seek comfort when we are afraid, not when we love. Do not reassure yourself - you must respect yourself.
Do the work you like. Even if it means getting less money. Even if it disappoints someone. To live at work that you don't like is to betray yourself eight hours in a row every day. No one can treat himself well if he tortures himself forty hours a week. If your work puts pressure on you, start making plans for how to change it. This is a manifestation of a good attitude towards yourself. You can’t spend a third of your life on fulfilling someone else’s dream and meeting the expectations of others. Dignity is worth any pay cut. If you do not like your work, you kill yourself slowly.
Make respect a habit
Of great importance is how you do each of your work. Perform any action carefully. Treat things with respect. Do not plop down on a chair, sit on it for a specific purpose and as expected. Respect all your purchases, everything that you lent, everything that you give to someone for a while.
Respect your time. Spend it on actions that improve your life, on things thanks to which you get something new, and not on things that help you feel better at the moment. You will be grateful to yourself for that.
Respect other people.
Respect their skills and their values. And their flaws. Respect other people's thoughts. Let others finish their speech, do not interrupt, listen to them. Try to understand what they want to convey to you. Let them be themselves. I am convinced that people think of themselves just as they think of others. Understand that everyone around you has value, otherwise you will never begin to consider yourself valuable. Forget all your thoughts about how you wanted to change someone and what exactly you don't like about them. Forgive them and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself every morning when you wake up, and every time you go to bed. Forgive yourself every time you mess.
Respect the whole world around. Landscapes, events, details. Respect the buildings and the people who built them. Respect the companies and the people who manage them. Respect the trees. Respect even ordinary grass, which spends all its energy on growth and just tries to be itself - the very grass that no one has noticed.
Like lifting dumbbells when you start doing exercises. Do the most unpleasant thing for yourself immediately after waking up.
A good attitude towards yourself is not to try to finish early and rather grab onto a beer. This is not to say that the pigsty is the normal state of your apartment.
Every second you have a choice: to do something out of love for yourself or out of fear. At any second, you can stop and look at this moment from the side, and it will become clear to you for what reason you are performing this or that action. Make it your habit.
You cannot respect anyone unless you become in the habit of understanding value. Every person is valuable, every item, every place and every moment means something, but you may not notice this if you constantly feel guilty and your insignificance.
Understand that everything is valuable in the world - including yourself. In the end, you will cease to see the difference between yourself and the world.