Useful Tips

5 tips for those who want to make friends with a leader


Are you afraid of the boss, or are shy, or just do not like your own bosses? This is the wrong approach to a career! You need to make friends with superiors if you want comfortable work and fast promotion. But this does not mean that you will need to become a hybrid of a domestic worker and a personal assistant. advises: keep a sense of proportion, keep an eye on the most successful employees, and everything will work out.

It happens that the boss hates the whole department. He constantly screams, gives out completely insane tasks and generally spoils life in every way. If your bosses are not tactful and adequate, try not to focus too much on yourself. Perform your duties efficiently and ... look for another job. In fact, it’s easier to get into a more loyal company with competent leadership than to try to make friends with an “evil monster”.

Today, tactics in the style of “lay a friend, get a bonus” do not work. Modern management science assumes that workers should be a team. Well, those who try to make their own careers at the expense of colleagues are rated as a weak link. Ears therefore risk not only relationships with other employees, but also a reputation for superiors.

NIt’s not worth it to be imposed on the boss and obviously flatter. For example, one unobtrusive compliment about clothing to a female chef is politeness. Well, the constant transfer of the conversation to how beautiful she is, smart and in general gold is already too much. In general, in the domestic organizational culture it is not too customary to "go into the soul" of the bosses.

How to get along with the bosses?

Each person has pride and their own outlook on life, just everyone has a different degree of faith in these beliefs and in themselves. Someone is so confident in himself and his point of view that he does not consider it necessary to prove it to anyone, and also such a person is usually wise enough to accept other people's points of view. Well, someone any statement that is contrary to their own views, for a long time unsettled. Usually such people are better off in the place of the boss, but they haven’t always reached there.

If the views of the subordinate are contrary to the views of the authorities, a conflict is very likely. Want to keep a good job? You have to follow strict rules. And in addition to those established by the authorities, one will also have to observe additional ones designed to preserve peace in the collective.

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• The boss is not always right, but he is always the boss. Despite the satirical connotation, this phrase carries a deep meaning. What can be proved and what can be achieved by arguing with foam at the mouth with the head? Only trouble. Even if the authorities are clearly mistaken, you need to think ten times whether he should report it. As already mentioned, not every ego can bear criticism, especially the ego of many "big" people. If there is a desire to save the campaign from imminent death, which will follow the wrong step of the authorities, you need to tactfully introduce the right thoughts into the minds of the authorities. Everything should look as if it itself came across the right decision. By chance.

• If there is a tendency to enter into disputes with immediate supervisors, it is necessary that there is an iron support under the feet of professionalism. The employee who does not understand anything in business, allowing himself to argue with the boss is the first candidate for dismissal.

Before you ask for something, earn respect

You may want to ask your boss about some important privileges for you right after you get a job, but it’s better to wait a bit. Hally Crawford, a certified career coach, says: “After you get a new job, you need to give something before you ask for something.”

Hally recommends adhering to company policies and getting your boss to yourself before asking for some privileges. For example, if you are officially working from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., make sure that you are at work during this time period. After you demonstrate your reliability and value, you can discuss with your boss a more flexible schedule for starting and ending work.

Take the initiative

One of the best ways to gain the appreciation of your boss is to take the initiative. Many people take up a new job, thinking that they should only do the work that their boss gives them. But work is not a school. You should offer your help and take another initiative in the interests of the work collective and organization.

Crawford recommends taking on tasks that everyone avoids.

Express your opinion tactfully

You were hired because your boss or other company representatives found you and your skills promising. Your opinion is valuable for the development of the organization. However, express your opinion tactfully, showing respect for other people. Crawford recalls: “It's good that you have fresh ideas, but you need to express them in the right way.”

Instead of asking your boss why he is doing something in a particular way, ask if they tried to do something in a different way. Suggest a different way of working instead of expressing doubts about the current approach to business, which may look like an insult. “Don't try to imagine yourself a know-it-all,” Crawford notes.

Do not mix business and personal relationships

Friends at work can be your best friends outside the office. But, as Crawford recalls, do not mix work and personal relationships, especially in the early stages.

If you were invited to dinner or gatherings after work, do not sort out alcohol and do not overload colleagues with information. Do not say too much. Over time, you will learn a lot about your colleagues and they will learn a lot about you, but this will happen in a more natural way.

Try to get things done on your own

When you start a new job, it is important to ask as many questions as possible. And your boss understands this. But don't annoy your boss with questions without a break. You should know when you should go to your boss, and when you should not. Keep in mind that your boss has a lot to do without you, and he cannot always lead you by the hand.

Crawford advises new workers to learn to work independently, communicating more with their co-workers. Your boss will appreciate that you understand the matters yourself and build relationships with the team.

Source Used: Monster Jobs

In addition, in fact, the loss of work by employees is often another fairly common phenomenon in the office - chief's anger. Moreover, the secretaries, as specialists working with the boss pretty tightly usually get double. Psychological disorders, self-doubt, and, as a result, dissatisfaction with work, are only the first signs of the impending development of a complex in the life of any of us.

How to protect yourself from a psychological breakdown?

Make friends with the boss? Easy!

What to do, if the boss yells at you? And constantly? Yes, and in public? How to believe in your strength again? How to get along with the boss?

1. Be polite and attentive, extremely attentive, keep a notebook and pen ready. If the boss yells, imagine that you are writing down an assignment and do not forget to ask again, ask to repeat. Thus, you will achieve not only a decrease in the pace of speech of your boss, but also a decrease in pace. chief's angerIt is very likely that in a very short time he will begin to control himself. In addition, with a clearer formulation of claims, you can really understand what is being sought from you.

2. Name the chef by first name (or first name, middle name, depending on what is accepted in the company). This is a common way to arouse a positive attitude in a person. After all, we are all pleased when we are addressed by name. And most importantly - a similar method acts like a distracting maneuver, if the boss yells. Only attention, you need to pronounce one name (first name, middle name), without adding any more remarks! Try to hail the boss, interrupting the flow of his accusations, if necessary, do this several times. This will help him recover and think about his behavior. But beware of raising your voice yourself so that your hail does not look like your hail.

3. Try to get distracted. If you see that chief yells, and an atomic explosion cannot even interrupt it, or even that this will only aggravate the situation, imagine that chief yells it’s not for you that, for example, the TV is working loudly, or cursing in the next room, but you do not care about that. Just try to look adequate at the same time.

4. The effect of transformation. If fear completely deprives you of speechlessness, and you are unable to resist the enemy screaming at you, try to imagine that your boss is a comic character, in a ridiculous panama hat in a flower, multi-colored boots and a butterfly net for catching butterflies in your hand. If an object makes us laugh, we cannot be afraid of it. The main thing in this case is not to laugh at the chef's face.

5. Repeat the pre-prepared neutral phrase. Come up with something harmless, for example: "Yes, of course, I understand." And whatever the boss tells you, whatever arguments he brings, trying to break you down - calmly repeat the phrase you have chosen. Sooner or later, the stream of aggression will begin to dry up, since there will be nothing to feed it.

6. If the boss yells for the cause, self-criticism is possible within reason. On accusations of the authorities you conditionally admit your wrong. But do it without self-abasement and apology.

7. Learn habits. Try to imagine that you are a scientist studying the behavior of wild animals in the wild. Sneakily watch the situation when you become a target for chief's anger. Pay attention to how he behaves, what poses he takes to scare you, whether he is very red from anger, and whether his eyes sparkle. Thus, you will be able to disengage and, accordingly, stop experiencing fear, and yet we all know that they attack those who are afraid.

8. A bright future. If a chief anger addressed you during the meeting, or for any other reason you cannot answer him right now, imagine that soon it will all end - meeting, cry, claim.

Think about how the next time this situation could end for the benefit of all. For example, due to the fact that you will not send the necessary document to the partners in a timely manner, your organization will miraculously avoid ruin, you will be offered a promotion, and the boss will personally thank you.

9. And finally if the chef yells constantly on you, all of the above methods did not work, and the situation depresses you more and more, think about what “highlights” inside you chief anger. It is known that other people often “mirror” something located in us. In this case, it may be your low self-esteem. At heart, you may consider (often unconsciously) that you are not worthy of respect for yourself. And if you think so, then the boss at the subconscious level "reads" this attitude towards himself and does not consider it necessary to respect you. The treatment in this case is only to get along with the boss, but also to develop a healthy self-esteem.

If possible, it is better to contact a good psychologist, or read the appropriate literature. This business is not one day, but the result is worth it. Very often people behave with you as you allow them to. Strengthening your self-esteem, on a subconscious level, you will "transmit" a sense of self-esteem and the boss will treat you accordingly. You don’t have to say anything, do it or prove anything to him (a response to anger, such as arrogant behavior, shouting and insulting in return, excuses or choking apologies in each other is often a sign of self-doubt).

And one more thing: you do not have to wait for the day when your self-esteem grows up. As already mentioned, this is not a process, and it takes time. If the boss yells on you every day, then do not swim against the tide. Do not wait until you are in the clinic of neurosis. Change work. And be sure to look for her on a 2-in-1 principle: good work + adequate boss.

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Is it too friendly?

Maybe he cares about your well-being, asks how are you, and listens with pleasure to stories about your family?

In the end, there are plenty of reasons to call a leader great.

People tend to open up to those in whose company they feel easy and at ease. The degree of openness depends on the ability to understand people and character.

But when it comes to people to whom you submit, where is the line of what is permitted? Is it possible to get too close to them?

In my humble opinion, it is possible. Believe me, I have come together too much, and it didn’t end with anything good. On the other hand, when I was friendly to a certain limit, everything went well.

What to think about

If you want to make friends with your boss, think about this.

  1. There is a difference between being friendly and being a friend. Maybe you know each other pretty well, but do not confuse friendship with a pleasant pastime. If you have ever had a great leader, you should know why this is important.
  2. The leader does not concern your personal affairs. Regardless of how friendly your leader is, there are certain rules about what is worth and what is not worth sharing with him. Telling too much, you open too much, and this may affect some working decisions.
  3. Listen up. Take a look. Speak only when it is truly necessary. Perhaps an introvert speaks in me, but I like to watch people before I show my attitude to them. I cannot but evaluate people and their actions. Evaluation gives me the opportunity to choose a strategy of behavior - for example, I behave very carefully with someone, and with someone I can relax a bit.
  4. Never gossip with a manager about colleagues and other employees of an organization. In the third paragraph, I used the phrase "relax a bit." After observing the leader and deciding that "he is nothing," still do not chat with him about everything in a row. Some executives eagerly spread gossip, especially if it helps them let off some steam. Nevertheless, gossip does not lead to anything good, and it is you who are to blame for that situation. And it is on your head that all curses will fall.
  5. Paragraphs 1-4 do not apply to every leader. Learn a person better, find out what he likes and what can go wrong.

Do not hurry

If the "pros" outweigh the "cons", and you really come across a good person, you can very well make friends with him.If you are not sure that everything is so rosy, or just easy to meet people, keep friendly, but professional relationships.

Working with executives with diverse perspectives and management styles can be difficult. Do not rush to call the leader your friend, without considering all the possible consequences of friendship with the one who controls you.