Today, boys and girls have such opportunities for communication that their parents simply did not have. Skype, instant messengers, social networks ... "Ancestors", of course, do not understand anything about this - and demand to stop sitting at a computer / smartphone (because we instinctively reject everything incomprehensible). The result is predictably sad - quarrels and mutual insults for many years. How to prevent such mistakes in communication?
Psychologists are sure that children should take the initiative. If parents don’t understand anything, then perhaps they should just explain what’s what?
A few examples of the right conversation are given by the psychologist Karen North:
“Why don't you learn the lessons?”
Parents: "You say that you study, but we constantly see you sitting on the phone."
Child: “I'm sitting behind him, because I have a break after class. From time to time to pause in the classroom is useful, otherwise I will be more nervous than usual. "
Studies prove that short breaks between classes are helpful. And it’s not so important what exactly you do during a pause - you walk, eat something or check your personal messages on VKontakte. Scientists from the famous Massachusetts Institute of Technology say that learning something right is to learn something first, and then reward yourself for your work with something pleasant (for example, the same correspondence with friends).
“Who are you texting with?”
Parent: "Who are you writing there for?"
Child: "Girlfriend, she wants to hang out on the weekend, and we think we could take it."
Hearing such an answer, parents will at least partially understand why their child does not come off the screen of a smartphone even at the dining table. And at the same time they will find out that gadgets are not a toy, but sometimes an extremely useful thing (in our example, they can be used to discuss plans).
"Well, give me the phone!"
Parent: "Give me your smartphone, I want to see who is writing to you."
Child: “I do not read your correspondence. So you don’t read mine. ”
In fact, the situation is not so unambiguous - it happens that parents really should look into the correspondence of their child in order to protect him from many modern threats. On the other hand, a teenager is also a person, and to defend his right to privacy is quite natural for him.
“Your smartphone is mine, because I bought (a) it”
Parent: “Have you ever taken your eyes off the screen?”
Child: “I need to talk with classmates about homework.”
Parent: “When you're done, set the phone aside.”
Child: “Well, I do other things on it when I’m not doing my homework.”
Parent: “So, give it here. This is my property, because I bought it. ”
What to answer in such a situation? Tell your parents that your phone is as much a part of your identity as your favorite clothes and music. Explain to them that you cannot miss an important notice or email from school without him.
... So, young reader, the next time you have a similar problem, feel free to use one of these scientifically sound answers. In the eyes of parents, who instead of the usual conversations on elevated tones will calmly explain what’s what, you will grow to heaven. And the "ancestors", you see, and learn something :).