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  • 12 special etiquette rules on how to introduce people to each other

12 special etiquette rules on how to introduce people to each other

  • Private life
  • Relations
27.12.2016 14316

Everyone has heard about the basic rules of presentation: a man is introduced to a woman, younger ones are presented to elders, guests who come later - to those who have come earlier. But in real life, we often find ourselves in more complex situations.

What, for example, if you do not remember the name of one of the people you meet? And if the man is the client of the company, and the woman is your colleague? Or, for example, do you introduce your fiancé to your parents and your fiancé is older than them? Let's try to figure it out.

So, you introduce people to each other with the words “Let me introduce you. "," Let me introduce you. "," Oleg, get acquainted. ". We will tell you who to start with in different situations.

A group of people. If a new person joins the already assembled society, it is enough to pronounce his surname (name) loudly, the rest, giving him a hand, should be called themselves.

If you receive guests in your house, then, having led the new arrivals into the room, tell everyone who is there, name his name, after which this guest will tell the names of the others. If there are few guests, you can introduce everyone individually.

If one of the guests arrives late, when everyone is already sitting at the table, the owner should introduce it to everyone right away and put him in an empty seat. A latecomer may later meet his closest neighbors on the table himself.

If the guests come one by one, and you do not have time to introduce them to each other, your relative or a good friend can take on this responsibility.

Two women. If two women of different ages meet, correctly speaking to the older woman, say: “Let me introduce you. "- and pronounce the name and surname of the person younger, and then call the older woman. In other words, age and authority have an undeniable advantage.

Family members. His wife, husband, daughter, son should be represented in the first words: “My wife”, “My daughter”. Acquaintance with mother and father is an exception to this rule: all acquaintances should be introduced to parents, and not vice versa.

People equal in all characteristics. If you need to introduce peers or people of equal status, it is better to be the first to introduce a person closer to yourself, for example, your sister - your friend.

Good friends. Introducing your acquaintances, by the way, I’ll add, for example, the following clarification: “My friend N is a surgeon, and this Z is my institute friend.” Definitions of the type: “This is N - the brother of the famous actor Z!” Are absolutely unacceptable.

A famous person. If you represent several people to some honored person, then his last name does not need to be pronounced. It is assumed that everyone knows her.

At work. Ordinary employees are presented to the bosses. Colleagues from their department - colleagues from another department. The employees of their company are represented to customers (the customer is higher in position regardless of age and gender).

Special cases

Someone in your family comes to work for you. Should I introduce it to my colleagues?

Not necessary if you have a purely official relationship with them.

You are traveling in public transport with a friend, and at one of the stops your friend enters the carriage ...

If you only exchange a few words with the person who comes in, you can not introduce him to a friend, but do not forget to do this in case the conversation becomes general.

What if you want to get to know a person, but there is no one nearby who could introduce you to him.

It is permissible to simply give a hand and name your surname - clearly and distinctly.

What to do if you forgot the name of the person?

Just say: “Please meet. ", And then rely on someone else's initiative. This method of presentation is quite acceptable.

Can I meet while sitting?

When introducing a man, he must stand up. A woman does this only if she is introduced to a woman much older or to a man of respectable age and status. Girls under 18, getting acquainted with adults, always get up. The mistress of the house always rises to meet the guest, regardless of gender and age.

Can I introduce you? Yes, but right!

Mr. Ktototam would like to make new acquaintances, because he wants to expand his circle of contacts.If he intends to start meeting someone, say, with Mr. Neabykto, first of all it is necessary to get to know him, even if the five generations of Mr. Neabykto's family are known throughout the city. Nevertheless, for Mr. Nabyktyto there is only one way of "official" dating: to be introduced.

If you don’t want to get into a difficult situation because of this, if you want to avoid unforgivable mistakes in a good society, remember a few very simple rules to start with - the foundation of the fundamentals of art.

The man is introduced to the woman, the youngest to the senior, the subordinate to the boss. In a word, the one who is lower rank, the one who is higher. Therefore, it would be wrong to introduce Mr. Director of the Almighty to a young employee or, conversely, a certain lady to Mr. Director Almighty. This is possible only in exceptional cases, which will be discussed below.

Now let's see how, in fact, this is done.

A young active businessman of thirty years, let's call him Debutant, invited to visit on the same day as another gentleman - let's call him Tycoon, a well-known arms manufacturer. After dinner, the Debutant asks his friend, give him the name Pleasant, to introduce him to Tycoon as soon as possible. Namely, “imagine it,” because the Debutant is both younger and less important than the famous gun dealer.

The right moment is coming. Together with his friend, Ugodnik goes to the Tycoon, who was left alone for just a moment, and tells him: "Mr. General Director, let me introduce you to my friend, Mr. Debutant. Mr. Debutant is Mr. Magnat."

At the same time, Ugodnik makes a gesture with his hand, of course, not indicating the actors in this scene, which would be impolite, but as if hinting at this movement. The people represented in this way bow slightly to each other, with the Debutant with a slightly more pronounced reverence than the Tycoon. The latter, in turn, reaches out. The debutant immediately shakes it. Now these two are introduced to each other: they are familiar, they exist one for the other and consolidate these relations that begin between them, exchanging a few common phrases.

Having analyzed the scene described above, we can formulate the basic rules:

  • The debutant, a young businessman, still a dark horse in business, should be introduced to Tycoon, the financial tycoon, and not vice versa, on the principle: "lower - to higher."
  • In the absence of the owner of the house, who is at this moment in another place, Ugodnik (third party) has the right to introduce his friends to each other.
  • The pleaser brings the Debutant to the Tycoon, and not vice versa: again the rule "lower - to the highest."
  • First of all, the pleaser asks Magnat for permission to introduce his friend to him. Of course, this request is purely formal, because in case of doubt about the appropriateness of the submission, the golden rule is to refuse it! Then they call the names of the participants in the ceremony, starting with the "lower", and only in second place - the powerful Tycoon. If we keep in mind the social situation, then it is clear: thereby the more influential person is honored to be the first to know with whom he has to deal.
  • The presentation follows a bow, then a handshake, and only after all this is a conversation. Now our two gentlemen are familiar with each other, a correctly held presentation ceremony allows them to enter into some kind of relationship that, in accordance with the strict rules of etiquette, was not possible before.

Tact and courtesy tactics when introducing people to each other

To begin with, let us recall the order of greetings: the younger, lower in rank and men greet each other, senior, dignitaries and ladies respond to the greeting. At first glance, you can notice a close relationship between this rule and the rules for representing people to each other. In the presentation, as in the greeting (that is, when social relations arise and each time they are fixed), the initiative comes from below. The parent “accepts” the greeting in the same way as “accepts” the presentation.

However, one needs to understand another thing: nothing in this world of conventions has absolute value. It may well be that the one who is first represented today, who gives the lowest bow, will become equal tomorrow or surpass the one to whom he gives such respect today. Here is another reason why you should answer all the greetings, you can’t refuse an outstretched hand, tear unilaterally established relationships. Of course, in this area, as in others, there are exceptions: no one is obliged, for example, to say hello and communicate with a creature who has lost universal respect due to a crime committed by himself or his relatives. In addition, it is better to beware of introducing people to each other, between whom we can assume an acquaintance, much closer than it seems, but not wishing to recall this circumstance.

Two people were strangers to each other. You introduced one to the other, thereby giving them the opportunity to immediately enter into a dating relationship. Now they are SIGNS in the full sense of the word: they can talk, make and give visits, are obliged to exchange greetings at a meeting.

But what is forbidden - first of all, because it is ugly! - It is to use your new acquaintance, your new relationships, to show off or hide behind them. And also - to be familiar, alone or in society. Otherwise, it may turn out that relationships that could very well become GOOD or even develop into a friendship will break off with painful suddenness, not really having time to start. We take this opportunity to express our opinion about familiaritysimply saying that in all circumstances it is the opposite of politeness. Anytime and anywhere.

When is it necessary, and when is it unnecessary to introduce people to each other?

In a narrow circle, it is important that everyone knows everyone, especially if people meet often - in their own or in the house of mutual friends, therefore it is imperative to introduce a new person.

But there is absolutely no need (and sometimes it is simply impossible) to represent everyone at large receptions or balls. But even in this case, any guest should be familiar, at least with the owner of the house, his wife and relatives, as well as with the guest of honor and with the neighbors on the table. Therefore, they must be introduced to each other.

If local traditions need to be introduced, then two people, once close, expect this to be done. Such customs from case to case must be respected, and here it all depends on the tact of the owner or the one who is obliged to acquaint. When in doubt, it is preferable to avoid this procedure: it’s much better not to introduce someone to someone than to listen to sweet and sour comments later .

When a permanent relationship is foreseen, if people have to meet on a professional basis, or they are neighbors, or live in the same house, they have the right to be introduced to each other. If there is no one nearby who could do this, they will get to know themselves. How? About it - further. In any case, one should never ignore the desire to be represented, unless, of course, this desire does not go beyond the initiative allowed by the rules of society. If there is a difference between the position of the person who is seeking contact and the one to whom he would like to be represented, allowing us to consider the desire to get acquainted as impudence or arrogance, it takes a lot of tact to refuse to fulfill this desire, but you still need to try to avoid meeting in the interests of both sides (as always, there are special circumstances). A lot of tact and delicacy is also required if we need to introduce a person who has some request or who needs a service. In practice, it often happens that the petitioner does not have common acquaintances with the one from whom he needs something, or he simply does not want to interfere with this common acquaintance. Here, again, we are faced with the case when it is best to introduce ourselves.

Few exceptions

A very young girl is introduced to an elderly or important gentleman, and not vice versa. Here is another case where tact and good education determine the need to single out a person who deserves more respect.

If someone is introduced to a prominent political or public figure, you can only name his title, omitting his name. For example, we say: "Mr. President of the Republic, let me introduce you to Dr. Tartan-Pillon."

But if the ceremony is according to the official protocol, it is called, on the contrary, only the last name.

During a secular reception, they first name the incoming person, then the names of those present. If circumstances require to do otherwise or in the case when the person who deserves special respect, the presentation takes place in the reverse order.

If you do not take into account especially outstanding personalities (for example, an honored guest), then always represent individuals in pairs, never - on the contrary.

When you need to introduce an individual to a large group, you can do without listing and confine yourself to the surname of this individual.

The presence of a disabled person erases all ranks : those gathered, no matter what position they occupy or whatever their age, naturally approach him.

In the case (today it’s very rare) when the presentation is followed by the transfer of a business card, you need to avoid embarrassment: your card is transmitted by the lowest position or a man, never the one who is higher or a lady.

What is necessary and what is not necessary to say and do

It often happens that the performance is spoiled by the haste or uncertainty of the person who is entrusted with this procedure. We must try not to cross the boundaries of the prevailing rules or tact - that which is beautifully called the mind of the heart. Even in the most insignificant, at first glance, acquaintance contains the embryo of future closer relations or great friendship. And, excluding the people of the satiated and misanthropes, of whom there are not so many, each of us will be happy to see new faces and establish new relationships. However, we are forced to admit that most often we don’t find out about who they represent to us, except for the name (and even that!), And the one who introduces, gives it to the person as something unworthy of great interest. Thus, we enter into a not too funny game, the essence of which is to have both partners guess who they are dealing with. Perhaps then, when the relationship is imposed, these findings will find charm in the memories. But when the meeting barely took place, they always annoy and pose a number of problems. Take at least one - where to start a conversation? It’s good if there are any common acquaintances or common interests and they will immediately show up.In all other cases, a lifebuoy is needed in the form of additional information.

A striking difference between a secular person can be how he represents each other to his acquaintances: he will surely explain in a few pleasant words with whom each of them will communicate. These are not just compliments - they are a means to facilitate the first contact. In listing common acquaintances or mentioning a passion for travel, you can always find the beginning to continue the conversation. But, if you are in a not too free (read: unbridled!) Company, beware of talking about the financial situation of partners - for one the topic may turn out to be painful, the other will look immodest. Talking about professional interests in a chosen society is also not worth it: this is a private matter for everyone, and every day has more than enough time to talk about their business.

A “preface” of this kind will also allow avoiding tactlessness or an awkward situation for oneself. No one, for example, will brag about his success in tennis; he will find out that a new friend, a young American, has just returned from the Wimbledon tournament, where he took pride of place.

It is considered (and rightly!) Indecent for a lady to bow to the man whom they represent her, even if this lady lost her temper with joy that she was finally introduced to the famous film director. A lady can only bow to another, very elderly, or monarch, but never - equal to herself, and even more so - to a man. To nod your head, smile - this is completely enough to show your interest, respect and pleasure from a new acquaintance.

It is especially important (this rule, by the way, applies to all areas of public life) to be able to keep your feelings in yourself when presenting. Politeness on the verge of servility, self-abasement is just as inappropriate as arrogance or excessive pride. We need to respect ourselves and respect others - that’s the Ariadne’s thread that will lead us through all the labyrinths of conventions accepted in society.

An article for RUmed4u.ru prepared by admin

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Dating place

Good manners (and basic safety rules!) Do not recommend getting to know strangers:

  • on the street,
  • in transport,
  • in a restaurant, theater, museum,
  • and other public places.

On the one hand, it is indecent to impose your company on a stranger. He may be completely reluctant to communicate with you.

On the other hand, getting acquainted with the first comer is also imprudent, and sometimes dangerous! You never know who this person will be.

How then to get to know each other?

According to the rules of decency, as well as according to everyday standards, an intermediary in the person of a common acquaintance is needed to get to know someone. You need to contact him in order to be introduced to the person you want to meet with.

When you are introduced (this applies to both men and women), then by the reaction of a new acquaintance, you will be able to understand whether he wants to continue acquaintance. And if you see his coldness, you should not insist on continuing the relationship.

How to introduce people to each other

The basic rules of presentation are as follows: with the words “Let me introduce you. "," Let me introduce you. "," Olya, get acquainted. ".

  1. A man is presented to a woman.
  2. The younger ones are represented by the older ones.
  3. Guests coming later, those who came earlier.

If the guests come one by one, and you do not have time to introduce them to each other, your relative or a good friend can take on this responsibility.

Having led the guest into the room, everyone who is there is called his name, after which this guest is called the names of the others.

If there are few guests, you can introduce everyone individually.

Getting acquainted, men get up.

Women may remain seated, unless the incoming guest is much older than them or occupies a high position.

If two women of different ages meet, correctly speaking to the older woman, say: “Let me introduce you. "- and pronounce the name and surname of the person younger, and then call the older woman. In other words, age and authority in this case have an undeniable advantage. The same principle of emphasized respect determines the norm of acquaintance, in which usually a man is introduced to a woman, and an employee to a leader. If you need to introduce peers or people of equal status, it is better to be the first to introduce a person closer to yourself, for example, your sister - your friend.

When you need to imagine several people at the same time well-known person, honored, then his last name is not pronounced at all (it is assumed that everyone knows her).

Of their wife, husband, daughter, son we represent with the words: “My wife”, “My daughter”. Acquaintance with mother and father is an exception to this rule: we introduce all the acquaintances to their parents, and not vice versa.

By the way, introducing my acquaintances, add, for example, the following clarification: “My friend N is a surgeon, and this Z is my institute comrade.”

Introducing a person, one should pronounce his surname clearly and distinctly. I especially want to warn against confusing it or making inaccurate stress.

Definitions of the type: “Mr. N is the brother of the famous actor Z!” Are absolutely unacceptable.

It is advisable for people who are not confident in their memory regarding other people's surnames: “Meet me, please. »And then rely on someone else's initiative. This method of presentation is quite acceptable.

If a new person joins a company that has already gathered, pronounce his surname aloud, the rest, giving his hand, call their own name.

Are you traveling in public transport with a friend, and at one of the stops your friend enters the carriage? Is it imperative to acquaint your companions? If you only exchange a few words with the person who comes in, you can not introduce him to a friend, but do not forget to do this in case the conversation becomes general.

Someone in your family comes to work for you. Should I introduce it to employees? Not necessary if you have a purely official relationship with them.

At work. The new employee is represented by the team leader. Old employees introduce the newcomer to the course of affairs and behave in such a way that in a few days the latter feels comfortable in the new place. In a complex personal relationship between some employees, as well as in mutual insults of the newcomer, one should not devote.

The form of contacting each other among members of one collective depends on the degree of their friendly sympathies and established traditions. But in any case, it is unacceptable to contact a friend only by last name.

Life in a holiday home is characterized by somewhat simplified forms of dating. With the words “Let me see your book”, intimate communication can begin.

In such an environment, it is best to introduce yourself to your roommates and the table. The general acquaintance and the creation of a good atmosphere is facilitated by the "acquaintance evenings", which are accepted in some holiday homes.

Among peers, young people and girls, it is perfectly acceptable to name only acquaintances.

But they introduced us. How to behave further? If a person introducing us has already uttered our surname, then repeating it, giving a hand, should not be.

The first to give a hand is the person to whom the other was introduced, that is, the woman reaches out to the man, the older to the younger, the leader to the subordinate. The person who presented is waiting patiently, ready to lend a hand, but is in no hurry to do so.

When a man is introduced, he will certainly get up. A woman does this only if she is introduced to a woman much older or to a man of respectable age and status. Girls under 18, getting acquainted with adults, always get up.

The mistress of the house always rises to meet the guest, regardless of gender and age.

If one of the guests arrives late, when everyone is already sitting at the table, the owner should introduce it to everyone right away and put him in an empty seat. A latecomer may later meet his closest neighbors on the table himself.

When it happens to meet a friend in the street who is walking in the company of a woman you don’t know, you are supposed to bow and leave the acquaintance the right to decide what to do before - say hello to you or introduce you to a woman.

But what if there is a need to be represented, and in society there will not be anyone around who could help you with this? You just have to give a hand and give your name - clearly and distinctly.

Since we are talking about surnames, it should be noted that a good memory for names often helps out in life. A person whose name and / or surname we quickly recall after many years, feels flattered. However, people are often found in whom other surnames stubbornly fly out of memory. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I advise you to glorify in such a way that this drawback is not noticed. But if you are completely unlucky and there is no way out, you will have to admit: "I'm sorry, I forgot your name." In such cases, it’s nice to defuse the situation with a joke.

With poor memory, it sometimes happens to meet for the second time. Here it’s better not to give your last name even if it later turns out that you were not familiar with this person — rather than putting yourself at risk to hear in response: “We already know.”

On the other hand, if we joyfully rush to meet a friend, and he looks at us with frightened and uncomprehending eyes, it is better not to ask: “Will you not recognize me?” The question puts the person who did not recognize us in an awkward position. You can unobtrusively, as if by the way, note: "We met in Lipki." This hint will help your partner to find out who he is talking to.

A woman at work does not cease to be a woman. A well-mannered man and in the service will let the woman go forward, hold the door in front of her, exclude the use of sharp expressions and rude words in her presence, stand up if the woman is standing in order to give her a light. But all forms of politeness should not interfere with the main course of work. A man can stay on top in order to give a woman a coat when she leaves. But you can not help helping her get dressed if you are together in a wardrobe.

At the same time, a woman should not be offended if the politeness of the male workmate is somewhat “shortened”. If usually a man gets up when a woman standing next to him speaks, then in working conditions he may not do this.

Men! Do not forget that a woman at work deserves the same attention as in a different setting.

Women! Do not abuse the advantage of the fair sex in the work environment. I especially want to warn against argumentation with tears of official disagreements.

And one more thing: it does not hurt to remember that the desktop is not decorated with standing handbags, nets, hats, powder boxes. Better to find another place for them.

Picking up the handset do not ask: “Who is speaking?” Only the secretary can do this and then in a more polite form, for example: “Can I find out who is asking?” (for more information on telephone conversations, see Telephone). However, at the moment, it is necessary to make one more remark about telephone conversations at work: as little as possible and less often conduct private conversations from your office phone, and if necessary, do this in an undertone and in the most abbreviated form. There is no need to distract colleagues with their worries about a lost key or meeting with a dressmaker.

In individual work collectives, the tradition of celebrating the birthdays of employees has been strengthened. The tradition itself is good, but the smaller the scale of triumph takes, the better. All members of the team are not required to participate in the shopping bag for buying a gift. Only those who want it participate. In this case, any coercion is unacceptable. Congratulating, we can say: "A gift from Alexander Makeev and me."

Accepting congratulations, the birthday boy gets up. In response to congratulations, you can offer a modest treat: coffee, cake.

Do not treat too wide. In a working environment, this is inappropriate and besides obliges the next birthday person to do the same. Just such things sometimes turn a good tradition into disaster.

If sweets are received as gifts, they should be treated to comrades. You can take the box with you only if you have prudently brought candy from home. Received flowers should be taken home.

The leader’s birthday is celebrated depending on the tradition prevailing in the institution. The most appropriate form of congratulations to the leader is to put flowers on his desk. If employees certainly want to give a present, then “neutral” and inexpensive things look best, for example, sweets (if they are loved), rare fruits, an ashtray or other little things for a desk, an album, books. In small, tightened groups you can practice gifts such as a wallet, a briefcase, and gloves.

Head of Institution especially if he is relatively young, welcomes older employees and women. Although, as already mentioned, educated people bow to each other at the same time.

Entering the department, the head greets first. There are no exceptions to this rule. Employees answer, but no one gets up. An institution is not a school.

The manager does not get up in his office if a female employee approaches his desk to resolve the current issue. In the event of a long conversation, the boss invites the employee to sit down.

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